Getting A Job Pays In More Ways Than One
With piano, club soccer, three AP classes, social life, Netflix, and sleep, what teen has time for a job? Sadly, more and more teens have no window for work. Their schedule is prohibitive. The last thing we should do is throw 10 hours a week cooking burgers at In-N-Out into a crazy schedule. Our kids can only handle so much. However, rearranging their schedule to make room for a part-time job is wise. Especially for those kids who don’t need to work.
Work, like other activities our kids are involved with, helps them practice responsibility, creates independence, and builds confidence. However, work does it in a different way that many other activities can’t.
First, they get a paycheck. It is money in the bank that you didn’t deposit. Teens need to begin to feel as if they can function on their own. Having something that belongs to them and that you weren’t involved with is essential. When my son bought his mother a birthday present with his own money and not with my card, we turned a really important corner. He also paid for some of his own clothes and lunch after a morning surf, and from time to time, he would cover a friend. He felt as if he had grown up and was functioning like the rest of the world. For teens, having their own money creates freedom and security. The paycheck stub also opens their eyes to taxes, retirement, and budgeting.
Second, they spend time with adults you don’t know. This can be scary for parents. However, it opens up their world. Working alongside other adults teaches them valuable lessons they don’t learn from teachers, peers, or coaches. They see how others handle pressure, approach work, celebrate success, and deal with conflict in real time. They pick up good habits and figure out their own work rhythms. They may also learn what not to do by observing others. Sometimes the best way to grow is seeing the missteps of others.
After his junior year in high school, our eldest son got a summer job at the local grocery store. It wasn’t his idea, but he had some time over the summer. This job led to a future summer job, with more money, more budgeting, and more responsibility. Finally, this past summer, the summer before his senior year in college, he completed an internship in finance. The previous jobs helped him prepare. He was more seasoned. His working muscles had been stretched. The last three months, he was out the door by 6:30 a.m. for a long day’s work researching, joining conference calls, tackling projects, and going to lunch with others in the office. He even went surfing on Saturdays with some of his colleagues. The last day of his internship, he headed off early to the pastry shop around the corner and brought baked goods for the office with a note of thanks attached. He did a great job, and needless to say, we were proud of how much he had grown over the years. Plus he had some nice savings, which made him feel great.
Parents often ask me about fostering their kids’ growth . Whether your kid is on top of it or struggling to keep up, work can be an important ingredient. Sometimes I will tell them, “Your son/daughter needs to get a job.” They smile as if what I said didn’t register. Then, I rephrase it: “Yes, your son/daughter needs to get a job. Not a job at your office or a job you find for them, but a job they find on their own.” If the kid has been exercising poor choices, I will say, “Give him/her two weeks to land a job and start working, and if it’s not done, take away the car or some other thing of value.” If the son/daughter has been excelling, I will say, “Your kid is doing great. I think a job will stretch him/her in new ways that will surprise you.”
It is always fun to see the student a few weeks later and hear him/her say, “Did you tell my dad that I needed to get a job?” I smile knowing they are in a better spot.
